Sheridan Gold’s Bat Mitzvah Drash
October 24, 2020
I have always loved snakes. Ever since I was a little girl. I felt then, and I still feel, that I am the snake's protector. When I was in 10th grade, I'll never forget the scene - I was on the school bus and we passed some boys who had thrown a snake up on top of a wire fence. The snake was stuck there and the boys were throwing stuff at it. My heart broke as we passed this group by. I still remember that scene so vividly.
As an adult, I remember once when my cats were playing with a 6 foot snake, they poking and sniffing, the snake playing dead...I chased the cats away and gently, with the help of a shovel, lifted the snake to safety. Whenever I see a snake, I marvel at its ability to move, its tenacity at survival, its beauty and grace. One time I was in a field looking for a lost softball, and I saw the middle of a snake...both the head and tail were each in a separate hole...it really was a sight to see, the snake moving-undulating- from one hole to the next, like a slinky.
When my mom and I talked about a date for our Bat Mitzvahs, she wanted to come to Cotati when it was the warmest time of the year...I knew that the summer months were usually chilly, so we decided on October, after High Holidays...which brought us to this date...October 24...and little did I know that I would be studying the Torah portion with a snake in it. Little did I know that I would reconnect with this animal that I really loved as a child and continue to love to this day, perhaps even more now.
Who would have thought that my Torah study would have led me to study the snake? Who would have thought that I would have so many questions regarding just 7 sentences in the Torah?
Now, before I continue, I must share with you that I was very, very resistant to the stories in the Torah. I mean, to be swallowed by a whale? Or to live over 900 years? A very dear friend of mine, Gesher Calmenson, helped me with my resistance by sharing this teaching with me: he told me that the Torah can be interpreted 4 different ways: literal, moral, metaphorical, or mystical. I just can't see the stories as true in a literal sense, I didn't want to learn yet another moral lesson, metaphors are okay but not that exciting to me, but the mystical idea? That was intriguing...that idea helped melt the walls around me and you'll hear more about that later.
So back to my Torah portion: I had questions like:
Why did the snake talk to Eve, not Adam?
Why was Adam so passive?
Why did he simply do what Eve did and not have an opinion?
Why is it seen in that Adam and Eve disobeyed God?
So like I said, I have lots of questions regarding my Torah portion, but I'd like to concentrate on the following three:
Why is the snake described as cunning or shrewd? The Torah reads, "V'hanahash haya arum mikol hayat hasaday." Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast in the field. Why use the word, "cunning"? Why not use the word, say, "intelligent"? "Now the serpent was the most intelligent beast in the field."
Doesn't that change the meaning, the interpretation, the description of the snake? It does for me. Because now that the snake is seen as intelligent instead of cunning, or shrewd, or manipulative, the statement, "You're not going to die," now gives Eve a choice. The snake was giving Eve the opportunity to use free will and make her own decision.
What in the world is wrong with that? Isn't that how we want to raise our children? One of my most favorite things I used to say to my students was, "Of all the gifts you have, remember, you have the gift of choice." And that's what Eve did - she chose. Did she die from eating the fruit? No. So then the snake becomes a truth teller - an intelligent truth teller.
Another question I had was regarding gender of the snake. In the translations that I looked at, the snake was always referred to as a he. I, too, had always thought the snake was male. Why? When most of us are young, we really don't know enough to question, so we accept. The snake, he lured Eve, he was cunning, he was shrewd. But what if the snake was female? Think about that for a minute. So, the snake, she was the most intelligent beast in the field. Doesn't that have a different flavor? It does for me. I think she would be more of a guardian or protector...
My third question is, Why did Eve even listen to Snake? When the snake told Eve she wasn't going to die, Eve had lots of ways she could have reacted. She could have simply walked away. She could have turned away. She could have continued on her way. She could have told the snake to leave her alone. She could have asked why the snake was talking in the first place, that animals couldn't talk. And if this were a movie made today, she probably would scream holy terror and run away, frightened to death.
But what did she do? She listened. She respected the snake, and took what the snake said seriously. And then, and only then, with the information the snake gave her, did she decide what to do.
What were the consequences of Eve's choice?
וַתֵּ֣רֶא הָֽאִשָּׁ֡ה כִּ֣י טוֹב֩ וַתִּפָּקַ֙חְנָה֙ עֵינֵ֣י שְׁנֵיהֶ֔ם
She saw that it was good and her eyes were opened.
So questions: cunning vs. intelligent; he vs. she, choosing vs. blindly obeying... Never did I think I would be discovering more questions than answers. I just thought I'd learn the Hebrew and that would be it. But through gentle guidance and weekly conversations with Gesher, I questioned my way into the mystical mystery of the Torah.
How did I go about finding answers, you may be asking yourself. Through conversations with Batja Cates, Melissa Schwartz, Shoshana Fershtman, Reb Irwin and Gesher, through Hebrew guidance with Gesher and Shari Brenner, and through art with Sharon Ziff and Matile Rothschild, all which led to books and websites and the use of my own imagination. Like, with Shoshana, who, after discussing the snake with me, suggested I write letters to the snake, and have the snake answer me. This is the mystical part that was intriguing to me.
Now, you might think this is too weird, to write to a snake and have the snake write back. But after being with Dianna for almost 43 years, and being a witness to her Ph.D process at Meridian University, I was ready for this task, to use my imagination. What Shoshana suggested wasn't weird to me at all. In fact, I embraced the idea, and started writing letters to the snake, if not every day, every other day. And "she" wrote back. I'd like to share a couple of excerpts with you.
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"Dear Snake,
Who are you and why were you there in the garden? Why did you contradict God? Clearly you showed no fear. You told the truth and let Eve choose. You weren't demanding or threatening. Why did you intervene? What was in it for you?
Some have said you are the Goddess. Are you? Why did "they" (the writer's of the Torah, of the Bible) make us so afraid of you, women in particular, why, when you just go about your business, not trying to hurt anyone unless you feel threatened?"
And here is the snake's reply:
"Dear Sher,
Thank you for asking me all these important questions. Most of the time people think badly of me when all I did was ask Eve what would happen if she ate the fruit. And when she told me that God said she was going to die, I knew that wasn't true. She wasn't going to die, so that's what I told her, and I was right, right?
"So how does that make me evil? I'm not like a drug dealer who asks a young vulnerable person if they want some drugs...the drugs lead to dependency, addiction, and sometimes death. That's who is evil. But me? I simply encouraged Eve to think about eating the fruit. Why? Because I knew her eyes would be opened.
"Never again would she be in her own world with all of her needs taken care of. She would be of the world, she would know struggle, she would know good and evil, she would grow into herself. Now, here's a question for you Sheridan: Why did God want her eyes to stay closed?"
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So, the truth. If you know the truth, should you tell the truth? What if people don't want to hear it? What if people turn it around and demonize you for telling the truth? We see examples of this every day now, especially now that it is election season. Are the people who are telling the truth celebrated or demonized?
TAKE A MOMENT NOW AND THINK ABOUT A TIME THAT YOU TOLD THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH WASN'T WELCOME. SEE WHAT ARISES FOR YOU. WHAT DID YOU TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT?
So, what are my take aways from this whole process? I got the biggest life lesson from art. That's right, art.
This is one of the most profound Soul Collage cards I've ever made. Soul Collage is a way to take whatever images you choose and have those images speak through statements and questions. For the question, "Who are you?" the card came up with, "I am the one who is diving into my Bat Mitzvah", "I am the one who's jumping off a cliff", and "I am the one who knows I will have a soft landing." The last question asked of the card was: What else do you want Sheridan to know?
Here's the answer from the card: "At 65, it's so special to share your Bat Mitzvah with your mom. Keep your eyes on the whole process, not on the little things that bug you. Be the snake in the tree that sees everything, not the snake on the ground that only sees feet."
This last sentence may be the most important lesson: Be the snake in the tree that sees everything, not the snake on the ground that only sees feet.
Take a pot of soup. You turn it on and go about your business...you forget about it, and before you know it, it boils over. You've completely forgotten it, and when you finally remember, you run to the kitchen and see a big mess. The soup has boiled over on to the stove, down the sides, on to the floor, the pot is empty save for the burned bottom. What a mess. Now, if I were the snake, only looking at feet, I might say, "Bad soup! How could you make a mess like this?"
However, if I were the snake in the tree, I might say, "Wow, someone forgot to turn the fire down. Look at the mess that caused."
What makes the most sense, the snake who only looks at feet? As in, blame the soup for the mess? Or, the snake in the tree, and look for the cause of the mess in the kitchen? How can we apply this analogy to our current times in our families, country, or world today? What comes up for you?
"WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU THINK WE NEED TO LOOK AT FROM A HIGHER VANTAGE POINT, AS IF WE WERE A SNAKE IN THE TREE?"
The Black Lives Matter movement comes up for me. Here I am, the snake on the ground, only looking at feet. After the George Floyd murder, I see the rioting, looting, and rage. This is the soup that had reached its boiling point and has boiled over.
Now, as the snake in the tree, this is what I see: Another murder of another Black man at the hands of the police...years and years and years of Blacks being mistreated, misunderstood, misinterpreted...and if we are truly the snake in the tree, I ask, What actions can we take to turn down the flame or turn it off altogether?
In closing, I'd like to thank 3 people: Gesher - We thought it was going to be Bat Mitzvah lessons, but our discussions morphed into art, philosophy, and lessons from Aikido...and turned into a life long friendship. Thank you.
Mom - you were truly an inspiration to me when I saw how dedicated you were, not only learning your Torah portion, but you'd share with me why certain words were singular, why some were plural, and the roots of the words (oy!) - we met three times a week and had a lot of fun together, and maybe we even got to know each other better.
And most of all, I want to thank my most beautiful wife, Dianna - you supported my journey 100% and you were always there to listen to my joys and my heartache. Thank you. I love you.
And with that, I leave you this.